I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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