They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
