I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
