Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
