Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
