i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
