Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
