new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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