My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
