a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
