well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Randomize
