The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
you never un-have a 4some
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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