So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
