Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
