I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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