WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize
