Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
