Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
