I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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