If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
