chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
