seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
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