Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
My Higher Power is John Stamos
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Randomize
