Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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