what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
