Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
