ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
