Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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