toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
