Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
