3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Bring me that man meat
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Randomize
