Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
