By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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