Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
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