My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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