I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
