Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
