so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Randomize
