Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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