Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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