And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Randomize
