fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
