he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
