I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
