It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
