ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
