I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Randomize
