Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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