i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
