If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
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