so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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